THE SLIGHTLY LARGER THAN AVERAGE APRICOT

One day, James woke up to find that he had no arms. He then went downstairs to find his family were dead. He then continued to the kitchen were there was a slightly larger than average apricot. James screamed and jumped out of the window only to realize his house was floating at 3000 ft in the air. He then realized he could fly so he flew to apricot land to meet Apricot Jhonson. Apricot Jhonson was licking a cat when James arrived and swallowed it when James entered. "Yo Apricot Jhonson." James said, "Theres a slightly larger than average apricot in my kitchen." Apricot Jhonson heard this, screamed then broke his own neck. "That was a wast of time." James said and flew back to his house to find the slightly larger than average apricot in his kitchen. "WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH ME!?!" screamed James. "I came for your virginity." said the slightly larger than average apricot calmly. James heard this and gutted his dad so he could fit inside. "But my virginity is gone." James mimics his dad's voice. "Oh well." the slightly larger than average apricot sighed. "How old are you?" the slightly larger than average apricot asked. "50" James mimicking his dad's voice replied. "good enough for me." said the slightly larger than average apricot said. The slightly larger than average apricot proceeded to rape James, you can still hear James's scream to  this day is you listen carefully while on a plane.

Moral: The moral of this story is never trust slightly larger than average apricots.